Free ME with my Responsibilities!!

Free ME with my Responsibilities!!

A voice surrounds me saying ‘You need to be independent'. You need to seek for the freedom where you are responsible for your own self, your thoughts and your views. You have to create your own ideas, perspectives, decide for yourself, and choose your own pathway.’ These words hit my conscience every day; those are my inner voices that are guiding me. The voice inside me wants me to find myself, fall in love with myself and enjoy life at the present moment of my company. I am craving to know, love and enjoy myself without caring for others, being selflessly selfish.

In the crowd of diverse people and amidst of all the schedules I get lost, I tend to forget myself and think about others, listen to them keeping myself too busy to think about ‘ME”. It’s been long that I have been thinking about others, thinking of my parents, my family and people close to me. It feels like if I, me and my desires don’t exist at all, at least not for myself, it was all for others. There might have few things that I did for myself however, when I have to count for majority it was for others. And at this moment I remember the time when someone asked me ‘What was the last thing you did for yourself loving yourself?’ I was numb, no thoughts and no answers. I felt I ever or rarely loved myself. And now I want to think about myself, independently not in relationship with anyone, not as a daughter, not as a sister or anyone, just as a woman, just as an individual, a soul that is waiting to unlock self.

I do respect others perspectives and ideas but I don't want to get influenced by others thought process and decisions. I want to silence all the outer voices and want to listen to the inner voice that is inside me, trying to navigate my direction to my own destiny. I want to hear the voice that was unheard by me. I want to live for myself first then for others. I want to love myself first then others. I want to listen to my inner voices then listen to others. I want to understand myself then make room for others. I want to be simply me first then to be daughter, sister and others.

I used to think and complain that I have no one who listen to me, who understand me moreover, none at least to give a try to listen me patiently and be with me to understand me. And now I realize when I was ignoring myself, I was expecting others to prioritize me. It sounds ridiculous to me these days as I am learning. 

I am learning to love myself, prioritize myself first, learning to be selfish selflessly. I am learning to live each moment with myself first and then with others company. I am learning to hear the voices that are inside me silencing all the outer voices of other people. I am here in isolation to be in my company and to love it like nothing else. I am doing things I love. I am falling in love and I am so glad that I feel I have wings to fly. I am simply loving this!